The High Cost of Being Misunderstood
Feb 26th, 2009 by Frank
I was already late when I hurried onto the sidewalk with my bags digging into my newly-healed, bruiseless shoulders, waving down the cab with his sign lit. He steered toward the sidewalk and I hopped in the back. An army of cyclists surrounded us for a moment and we were stuck waiting while they passed.
He asked where I wanted to go. I told him. Pudong Airport. I said it in Chinese. I said it well. It’s one of those words I know. Ji chang. First tone, third tone. He said okay and pulled into traffic. I asked him if he knew what I said. I asked if he understood me. You can never be too careful. Yes, he said. I understand. Then we chatted about the weather. How I was glad it wasn’t too cold today. He agreed. Said yesterday was much colder. I agreed.
Nearly 45 minutes later he’s slowing down in a business disctrict and waves down a pedestrian on the sidewalk. He gets out of the car and drags this poor girl up to my door and raps on my window. I lower it and he points at her, wagging his finger back and forth between us.
“He want know where you want go,” she says.
“What?!”
Thinking I didn’t understand her, she repeats herself, “He want know where you want go.”
“I want to go to Pudong Airport!” I said, then repeated it in Chinese. She says it to him, just the same way I did, and I finally see the light bulb go off over his head. He lets out a small yelp of panic and jumps back into the driver seat, tires squealing and pinning me to the back seat.
I check the time. I’m not going to make it. I can feel it. I ask him how long to the airport. 30 minutes, he says. My flight leaves in 20. I am so screwed.
For the next 30 minutes he drives like an absolute maniac while calling people on his cell phone and passing the phone back to me. Everybody he calls speaks about six words of English and they all ask me the same question. Where you want go? One after the other, I tell them. I tell them in Chinese, the same way I told him, and every one of them understands me. I pass the phone back and he talks to them again for a minute before hanging up and trying someone else. At this point I don’t even know what he’s trying to get from that.
We finally arrive at the airport 10 minutes after my flight hit open sky and I get him to cut the cab fare in half before I grab my bags and storm into the airport. The ticket counter for China Eastern is right in front of me and I get the good fortune of a service representative who speaks excellent English. Unfortunately, I don’t much like what she has to say.
I have to buy a new ticket. My next flight leaves in almost six hours.
It’s an hour cab ride to my apartment and 200RMB to get there. Another hour and another 200RMB to get back. Too expensive. I grab my bags and my new ticket and I start trolling the airport, finding a nice Japanese/Chinese restaurant with free wi-fi and a decent steamed pork bun and a good cucumber roll.
That was three hours ago.
I really need to learn to curse in Chinese.
cold
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I thought the F word was pretty much universal
Sorry to hear that it’s been a crap situation with the flights. I hope that the universe delivers something worthwhile in the remaining three hours – meeting new people or at least having a good meal
Well, there was this comment from you. I’m off to a good start.
Some chinese are fucktards and just because you have a white face will refuse to believe that you can actually speak chinese and register the chinese that you’re saying as english.
cao4 ni3 = fuck you / cao4 ni3 ma3 ~ fuck ur mom
sha3 bi1 = stupid cunt
that’s basically all i know, but it’s gotten me far.
i usually get pissed as hell if something like that happens to me and at the point when he pulled that girl over would have screamed cao ni at him and gotten out of the car without paying.
I know you don’t want to hear that this story made me smile, but I was having a crap day and it cheered me up. I am sorry that this travel experience has been craptastic, but, on the bright side…you made someone on the other side of the world feel better! Your blog is the highlight of my days – I truly look forward to your writing (as usual) – May the Universe turn your way again soon -
wow, brutal.. could happen to anyone though. on the bright side, I’m assuming it wasn’t an expensive international flight that you missed.
have a good trip..
Vickie – Absolutely essential vocabulary! Thank you! How’s things going in Korea? Have they given you your own TV show yet? OH, before I forget, I’ll be in Seoul in May visiting a friend for a few days. Care to meet for a cup of coffee or something?
Susan – My pain and suffering are here for your amusement, babe. Never let it be said I was nobody’s fool.
hpmike – No, it didn’t break the bank, but it was money I didn’t mean to spend. At this point, living on my savings, that’s the kind of snafu I can do without.
I like Vicky already.
There’s a lot to like, brother. No two ways about it.